having courage

I am afraid…

To even admit that I am afraid.

To fail. 

To not meet people’s expectations.

To look stupid.

To be left alone.

To blush.

To show insecurities.

To do something new.

To loose my job.

To faint.

To become sick.

To die.

I am afraid…

Of being afraid. Of pain. Of losing control. Of gaining weight. Of highs. Of losing someone. Of not having lived my life. Of not finding/following my true purpose. Of missing out on happiness.

So, when I look at my fears, I try to be courageous.

To face my fears. To become intimate with them. To breathe them in and relax. To understand them. To thank them for all they have taught me. To challenge them. To laugh at them. To not let them dominate me.

To stare them in the eyes. And say: come on! Let’s dance tango. 

To write this post I was inspired by the documentary “I am Maris”, a touching story about a girl with anxiety and anorexia who started to see a different side of life through yoga and who learnt that especially writing about the ugly stuff was part of her recovery journey.